How The Spiffy Dapper Came to Exist

The Spiffy Dapper was not supposed to happen. In the first week on February 2013 George had no plans to open a bar. In the second week of February 2013, the opportunity first came about and the hustle was decided upon at the end of the week.

It was a wild idea but George started hacking the space and building it at the start of the third week while doing his shifts at The Cufflink Club. And we opened on the first of March 2013.

We did not think we would last this long, we are lucky to be where we are and infinitely blessed. Here is our weird story.

There once was a dude by the name of George. A serial failure in everything he had done. George was a crappy web designer by day and a bartender at The Cufflink Club by night.

George being George was jumping from slope to slippery slope for no good reason and in one of those jumps he met up with Mr. Jon, an old buddy from school.

Now this Mr. Jon dude was a big fan of bollywood movies. You know, running around coconut trees, insane stunts and all. And he frequented a small club in Boat Quay where indian girls danced in sarees showing of their belly buttons and bolly-loving Indian ‘boys’ showed their appreciation by making it rain. And so it became that Mr. Jon made friends with the owner of the joint, a certain Mr. Truth.

Now Mr. Truth was a jolly fellow. A master hustler with cheekiest of grins, Mr Truth was dream of every punter and the bane of every debt collector. And he was always on the lookout for the next hustle. But then again so was Mr. Jon.

So it came to pass that Mr. Truth had an empty space at the second floor of building that housed his joint. And it occurred to Mr. Jon that there is money to be made. And he threw a line over to George who being his usual impulsive self, decided to build a bar there.

So Mr. John went to Mr. Truth and talked up George until he (George) was sitting on the moon sipping a Pina Colada. And Mr Truth decided to give George a chance and allowed him to open the space as a bar. The bar came to be known as The Spiffy Dapper.

So George was humming along and mopping the floors one day when he got a call. It was from a girl who wanted a job. And since George did not have any money to pay, he said that he is not hiring.

But what George did not realise was that he was dealing with a force of nature. And the name of this force was Hilda. Yes, that name sounds normal. But make no mistake, you do not want to fuck with her.

So Hilda made up her mind and came down for an interview. And George seeing that there is no point resisting, gave her the job. She asked George to shut up…

Ok… So it came to pass that Hilda became the first employee and apprentice to George. And she has been making his life miserable ever since.

After six months of absolute slavery under George, Hilda finally decided that George was not good enough and decided to take on the post of Head Bartender at The Spiffy Dapper. And so began the legend of Hilda.

So here we were, in a shit-hole in boat quay and with Hilda (and her bitchy resting face) for company and it occurred to George that The Spiffy Dapper might actually have a future.

And since George had no money, he decided to get it from the people who have been getting drunk at spiffy. It was a bloody long shot but we decided give it a good one. We put out a status update on our page and surprisingly, there we some people who were kind enough (or dumb enough) to give us the funds needed to find a new and permanent home for spiffy.

It took us a couple of false starts and six months to find the right space. And almost 2 years after George took the hammer to build the space at Boat Quay, he started construction of the space at Amoy Street.

The whole team pitched in for the build. We did everything ourselves; the carpentry, painting, the furniture and the bar. We left the electricity and plumbing to the experts.

Thankfully inspite of the copious amounts of alcohol consumed during the build, we all lived to tell the tale. And we set the date for the move to Amoy Street.

The last party at Boat Quay was legendary, we started off by just getting drunk. But as soon as George took off his shirt, things started to get hairy.

In a full scale riot simulation, we broke all the stools and tables, had a couple of scuffles and even knifed and set fire to the muse of The Spiffy Dapper, Veronica.

The next morning George woke up to a sobering realization of sorrow and happiness. It was time to say good bye to the old bird and move on to new horizons.

Shortly after the move. Hilda decided to strike out on her own and decided to try her hand at consulting for other bars. And that promoted Mr George back into the bar as the main man. But that only lasted for a short while. Joyce the Joyful, Pavel the Russian and Mabel the Vegan kicked George under the tuetelage of Rebecca the Evil Queen.

They banished George to a fucking farm to languish over his glory days and never to come back. As we speak, George is sitting in his farm chair, getting drunk and watching his daughter cuss at the neighbors.

We continue exploring and documenting what we are learning. And have a lot of drunk nights in the process.

Hopefully you will have a good time at The Spiffy Dapper. But if you don’t George sure as hell doesn’t give a shit.